Monday, December 14, 2009

The Ballad of Love and Hate-The Avett Brothers

Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
My vacations ending. I'm coming home late.
The weather was fine and the ocean was great
and I can't wait to see you again.

Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
"No one here cares if you go or you stay.
I barely even noticed that you were away.
I'll see you or I won't, whatever."

Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies,
and also when she comes down.

Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.

Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow.
To trust. To hope. To care.

Hate sits alone on the hood of his car.
Without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.

Love takes a taxi, a young man drives.
As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after, at the end of the ride,
cause he might never see her again.

Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says 2:55,
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.

Love has been waiting, patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,
That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind,
Will make it back safe to her arms.

Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung, eyes to the floor.
He says "Love, I'm sorry", and she says, "What for?
I'm yours and that's it, Whatever.
I should not have been gone for so long.
I'm yours and that's it, forever."

You're mine and that's it, forever.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Two of my favorite texts...

Ivy Hunter: "I was a bit chilly, but managed by gathering the pages of Psalms, and making a little cover."

Zaza Lajoie-Smith:"Ok, so let me explain.It was 2,then 5, then the light turned red and so did your toes,alarm went off,and the baby drove away with ALL the chocolate croissants!"

hahahahahah I love them....<3 <3

Friday, November 13, 2009

Open Eyes

You know when you just have those Christ filled moments of peace and joy? Where, 5 minutes ago, you either wanted to cry/die, but now you can't stop smiling? How great is our God, who lifts us up, and encourages,and is constantly reminding us of His love for us. Lord, blessed be Your glorious name!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

If you love me....

Just kidding...BUT I really really want these!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The need for greater faith

From Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts

"If any of you lacks wisdom,let Him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

My child, do not expect the trials to be lighter than in the past.Why should you think the tests would be less severe? I test to all things, and there are areaso of your life that as yet I have not touched. Do not look for respite. The dats ahead may call for greater endurance and more robust faith than you ever needed before.Welcome this, for you must surely know how precious are the lessons learned through such experiences. Even if you are unable to fully anticipate them with joy, you can certainly gain an appropriate appreciation of them in retrospect. Apply your heart to learn wisdom. This goal transcends every other aim, and any other good that comes out of a pressure period is an added blessing in excess. Seek Me above all else.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I'm blessed

To have the friends that I do...

August 8th-A days Journey

… That ye may know what is the hope of his calling …
Ephesians 1:18

Throughout Scripture, the word ‘hope’ always refers to that which is coming, to that which is ahead. I’m convinced the single greatest problem carnal Christians have is that they don’t know the hope of His calling. They don’t know the reality of heaven. Consequently, they are constantly striving for material things and are continually chasing carnal pursuits. They remain in bondage, depressed, and discouraged because they don’t see the big picture of eternity.

If you’re not happy at this moment, neither will you be with a change of location, salary, or ministry. You’ll not be happy until you know the hope of His calling. That’s why Jesus said, ‘Let not your hearts be troubled ... I go to prepare a place for you,’ (John 14:1-2). The key to overcoming a troubled, perplexed, stressed heart is to focus on the hope of his calling, on what’s ahead, on heaven.

‘But heaven seems so far away,’ you say. ‘For years, I’ve been hearing Jesus could come at any time. But where is He?’

‘Beloved,’ Peter said, ‘be not ignorant of this one thing: One day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day,’ (II Peter 3:8).

A day is as a thousand years. Maybe you’re saying, ‘Is that ever true! Will this day ever end?’ If you are in a strained marriage, a single person aware of your loneliness, or if you’re physically afflicted, a day can indeed seem like a thousand years.

‘Lord, where are You?’ you cry. ‘I’ve been talking to You. I have total trust in You. But where are You?’

This day is as a thousand years because in your day of difficulty and dilemma, pressure and pain, sadness and sorrow, you have the unique opportunity to share the fellowship of the Lord’s suffering, and to pray for others in a way you never would have been able to otherwise. We want to get out of the trial, solve the problem, move on.

The Lord, however, says, ‘Not so fast. I want this day to be as a thousand years for you. The discoveries you’ll make, the understanding you will glean, the gifts of praise, the expression of even frustrated prayer will affect you for the next zillion years. Because My coming is near, and your heavenly account is pretty small, I’m giving you an opportunity to make some huge investments in the few days that remain before you go to heaven.’

You for whom this day has seemed as a thousand years — rejoice. Savor each moment. Extract each minute. Take every opportunity in this long, long day you’re in to thank the Father for the opportunity to store up treasure which will make you rich for eternity.

-Jon Courson

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Or in the earthquake..

"Like the appearance of a rainbow in a cloud on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the brightness all around it. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. So when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard a voice of One speaking." Ezekiel 1:28

This verse blesses me all throughout, but especially at the end of the verse, when it says "I fell on my face, and I heard a voice of One speaking." For me, I'm 100% selfish on most days.I've been thinking a lot about how, sometimes the only time we talk to Jesus, is to ask Him for something, to ask Him to give us what we want. We want answers NOW, and we want to know what He can give us right NOW. I feel, and know, that when this is the case, He's silent.He wants to give us, what HE has planned,what HE knows is best for us, WHEN He wants to give them to us. I'm anxious daily..I've read Philippians 4:6-8 a trillion times, and every time it blesses me, but then 10 minutes after I've read it, I see/hear something that makes me anxious again. I've found that ONLY after I have spent time seeking the Lord's face, and talking to Him like the best friend that He is...THAT is when the anxiety leaves me. When I remember that He's not in the wind,the fire,or the earthquake (1Kings 19:11-12), but in the still small voice-I feel peace, because I know that my heart is safe with Him,when I am on my face,not even having the words to say, to express how much love I have in my heart for Him,that's when I stop feeling anxious.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I've had a sister for 18 years now....

I love my sister...Me and my brother argue sometimes, but me and my sister NEVER fight. Today was her 18th birthday.I can honestly say that I remember the day she was born. I was wearing my favorite "jelly" shoes, and my hot pink leggings. I got to hold her, and I can remember kissing her head. HONESTLY I can. We had a rough patch when I was in high school, where we DID argue, but the last couple of years we have been especially close. Lots of tears today. it's milestone events like this, that make it really hard to live without my brother. At one point my youngest niece was walking around the room with a roll of tp, and looking up at everyone in the face, and asking "Are you crying?" I'm SO SO SO thankful for you Bethany Rose Holton. I love you.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Refuge-Angel Game Fieldtrip.

So, we took some of our high schoolers to an angels game tonight. It was TONS of fun. It was Eah's first game, and she had an EXTREMELY large amount of energy ALL night, thanks to her doting father, (gummy bears, and cotton candy had NOTHING to do with it....) I always forget that people get drunk @ Baseball games....and this one guy....the half italian, half irish guy...sitting in front of us....oh man....he was one of are some pictures of our fabulous evening <3>

Those boys are hairy...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The fourth of July

C, Mom, and I
Josh, and Mom

Me, Beth, and Josh

Josh and his girlfriend Erika

Roo writing her name with her sparkler
Josh, Denise's brother, Ciara, and Erika


The fourth of July is always a fun time with my family. I am SO blessed.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I've been staring at the sky tonight. Marvelling and passing time. Wondering what to do with daylight Until I can make you mine You are the one I want, you are the one I want. I've been thinking of changing my mind. It never stays the same for long, But of all the things I know for sure, You're the only certain one, You are the one I want, you are the one I want. I've been counting up all my wrongs One sorry for each star, See I'd apologise my way to you If the heavens stretched that farYou are the one I want, you are the one I want [Chorus]I won't find what I am looking for If I only "see" by keeping score, 'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic, 'Cos if I add, if I subtract, If I give it all, try to take some back, I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact, That you are the sum. So you are the oneI want. When the years are showing on my face, And my strongest days are gone. When my heart and flesh depart this place, From a life that sung your song, You'll still be the one I want, You'll still be the one I want,You'll still be the one I want,You'll still be the one I want. -Brooke Fraser

As though your heart already belongs to somebody...

A couple of years ago, one of my favorite people in the world-Mark Allen, gave me and Allison the book: "Master, Mission, Mate" by Pastor Ken Graves. I've since read the book, about a Gazillion times, and love it more, everytime I do so. It's a great book to read if you're a Christian single, and sometimes forget WHO you're #1 priority should be. Ken Graves, also does a great job of reminding us how to keep your heart in check, and how to refrain from getting emotionally attached to someone. He includes 4 points that are CRUCIAL to staying level-headed.

Living as though your heart, already belongs to somebody. -Ken Graves
(1)Brother/Sister-Everyone is your sibling until God says something different.

(2)Refrain from any and all romantic expressions of affection: keep your emotions in check. (You ARE promised to someone) No flirting! They ARE your sibling.
(3)Pray for God's will for everyone you meet. You can't go wrong in doing this. You don't want it any other way! You want God's perfect will to be lived out in your life, as well as the life of your future mate, and in the lives of your brothers and sisters. "Praying God's will, reminds you not to seek your own."
(4)Be busy about your Father's business. There's KINGDOM work to be done! Keep yourself occupied with whatever work God would have you do, and WAIT for HIM to bring your mate to you.

I love you guys. <3

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

It's Wedding Season

Bridal Showers will soon become abundant....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I am now 23.

See the 2? and then the 3?

That's almost a quarter of a century. That's RAD. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to live this long, and be blessed by the people I have been! SO SO Blessed. I can't wait to see, what God is going to do next. The only thing I ever worry about is moving away from my family. I know the Lord will handle my fears when it comes time to be anxious, but it's scary to think about. I don't know what I'll do when I cant wake up, and talk to my mom about life every morning, or sit and watch sport zone with my dad every day (well, mainly basketball season). God will take care of those emotions. AH LIFE! I cannot wait to see whats next!!!

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:6-8

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Loving Jesus

is all I'm really good at. I fail at life besides this. I LOVE JESUS with the best of em though...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Road Trip to Brookings!!!

We (Jessica,Brittany,Katt, and myself) left for Brookings, Oregon on Thursday at 7 Pm, and got there Friday morning at about 7 Am. We went to visit Jess's mom Sylvia (So cute!) and her brother/step dad/grandpa/cats....It was an AMAZING weekend...Oregon is BEAUTIFUL!! Here are some pictures from around Brookings (including Jess's stepdads hydrengea (sp?) FARM!) It was AMAZING!!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Brookings,Oregon-it's beautiful.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Australia anyone?

Romania is my first love, England my second, and now I'm thinking about Australia. How amazing would it be, to go to Hillsong's Bible College? Oh my gosh-SO amazing!! I've never been more blessed as I was tonight! ''It's the Word of God,but with your faith it becomes the Living Word.'' God is gonna work HUGE and He's working NOW!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

God works in mysterious ways. Needless to say,sometimes it's frustrating-but we're blessed bc regardless of the circumstances-He's working.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Devotion Allison mentioned in it's whole.

From Jon Courson's Devotional Footstps of the Flock:

"And it came to pass, that as soon as he had made an end of the offering, behold, Samuel came; and Saul went out to meet him, that he might salute him." -1st Samuel 13:10

Samuel had told Saul to wait seven days before engaging in battle against the Philistines. When seven days had come and almost gone, and Samuel hadn't shown up, Saul said, "My troops are leaving, I've got to do something." So he assumed the role of priest and offered a sacrifice himself rather than waiting for Samuel so that he could engage in battle. No sooner had Saul finished offering the sacrifice than Samuel showed up.This is so often the way of God. So often the Lord waits until the last moment to step in. Why? It's not to tease us, but to test us.He takes us right down to the wire, not to taunt us, but to train us in order that we might have endurance (James 1:3). You see, the race we run as believers isn't a sprint. It's a marathon. And God knows how desperately we need endurance. The only way to get endurance is to go through testing that will force us to wait on Him in order that we might not panic, not run off the track, not throw in the towel. C.H. Spurgeon said the snails made it safely to the ark because they had endurance.You might be a snail.I might be a slug. We might move very, very slowly- but we will make it to the Ark, if we simply endure.

"Time is running out!" we cry. "We've got to do something!"Do we? I can give you all kinds of advice and recommendations, but it's only when God steps in that there will be a real solution. The sage was right when he said that the brave man is not braver than any other, but simply braver for ten minutes longer. Who is the brave man? Who is the mature brother, the wise sister, the deep Christian among us? It's not one who is necessarily super -spiritual. It's simply one who has learned to wait and not panic. Has God promise to show up? Has God promised you that He is going to work all things for good? Has God promised you that He will take cares you cast on Him? Has God promised you that He will give a peace deep within? Has God promised that the desires deep within your heart will come to pass? If He has, wait for Him. Don't panic, dear people. Be brave. Saul thought he waited seven days- but seven days hadn't completely passed. He didn't wait the full course. "Lord, make me a man of God," we pray. "Produce in me depth of character, and wisdom."

"Okay," God says. "I'm going to take you through some experiences in which you will have the choice either to panic and try to solve the problem by sacrificing this or looking to them- or to trust Me."

AWESOME, RIGHT???? I'm definitely waiting 10 more minutes!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Oh April (as in the month of)

"I never thought my life would end up quite this way, Sometimes it's hard to figure out what I should say I've tried too long to mend this broken heart, I need you, That thing you do."

I love love love that movie.


April is going to be the best this year.
I get to celebrate Easter, my very favorite Holiday. (April 12th)

I get to go see Hillsong United, with some of my very favorite people. (April 20th)

I get to go on a road trip to Oregon, with Jessica,Katt, and B.Myers. (April 23rd-27th)

It's going to be ri-freaking-diculous!!!

I am SO SO SO excited!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

"Is it anything like the TV Show?"

Asked the guy @ Starbucks in Carpinteria today, who'd never been here. "Hahahahah NO." I replied. Sure we've got lots of drama, and "Typical Orange County people", but for the most part we're NOTHING like the show.

Carpinteria was AMAZING. I had so so so much fun. We did Lunch @ "The Spot" and Dinner @ the liquor store, that has the mexican food being made inside-DELICIOUS; sketchy, but delicious. We spent about an hour, at Coffee Bean, an hour at the Beach, and the rest of the time walking around,not spending any money. It's nice to go someplace where you feel like if somebody were to call you to come home, it'd take at least a few days, when in reality you're only 2 hours away. Ah the life of living in California. Next time, I'm taking a train.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Adventure Day (March 16th)

....if you didn't know that, yesterday was "Adventure Day", indeed it was....

The day started off, with me attending a day of School of Worship with Becca. Then we went to lunch with Alicia, at Rubios, and then we went back to the Charis building so that Becca could record her AMAZING AMAZING song, with sir Neil Godding. It was lots of fun. After that, Adventure Day REALLY began. We headed back to Becca's house, where we were to meet up with Katie, and then with our friend from Arizona Chris G, and his friend Peter, (who is our friend now too). Katie got there, and then the boys came. Keep in mind this was the first time, I had ever met Chris G in person, (The girls did, when they went to visit Becca's cousins in Arizona) so I had no idea WHAT to expect of this person. He was loads of fun. ANYWAYS. So we sat around at the Harden residence awkwardly for a few minutes, before we decided, that Adventure Day needed to begin. How were we going to kick it off? Fish Window Shopping. We did so @ "Tong's Tropical Fish" in Fountain Valley. We decided that we only had One hour, and 15 minutes to Fish shop, and then we had to head off to our next destination. We were only there for like 30 minutes. It was lovely-I found a Laker fish that I would like to purchase one day, when I have money again. ANYWAYS. We then decided that we should go to Spinny Park, because WE LOVE Spinny Park, and felt like our crazy friends would love Spinny Park too. So off we went to Spinny Park. We played on the spinny stuff for awhile, and then the boys decided that one of the playgrounds was a ship, and Chris was Captain Ned, while Peter was Eliazar. Yeah. I know. THEN. We headed off to the jungle that surrounds Spinny Park.( Katie thought she saw a bum, but then he later approached us holding his blackberry in hand, asking us if we knew anyone who would appreciate some ramps being built for skateboarding/etc. directly behind Spinny Park-OBV not a bum.) We went exploring for awhile, and Katie stepped on a beetle. Chris named him George Valley, and I threw the last name Harrison (like the BEATLE). It was really sad, and we stood for a moment, mourning the loss of GVH, and Becca prayed for his family, and we put flowers on his grave. We met a dog named Roxy. Then Chris decided that it'd be a really good idea, not to use any paths, so we started off through the mile high weeds. As I was leaping from a low spot, to a little dirt mound, my cell phone flew out of my pocket. FANTASTIC! I spent like 10 minutes looking for it, before Chris offered me the "extra phone" he had in his back pocket. I ignored him, because i didn't want his "extra phone" I wanted MY phone. Turns out, the "extra phone" WAS my phone. JERK! So I punched him, and that was that. THEN! Katie was having a hard time walking through all of the weeds, so I offered her a piggy back ride....we were walking along just fine, when I hit a slick little hill deal, and did the splits (I haven't done the splits, since I was like 10). I seriously, thought I broke my leg, because not only was I doing the splits, but Katie was on my back, so I fell HARD. I pulled a muscle, which is far less severe than a broken leg. The crowd began to LAUGH, and then immediately stopped when they realized I was almost dead. (This is getting too long-so I'm gonna do bullet points.
  • Prehistoric Pets-Frisky Turtles
  • Albertsons-Peter bought some root beer, which on our way to Stone Fire Grill, spilled all over himself. It was a very sad state of affairs.
  • Harden Residence-We ate the Stone Fire Grill, and then Chris played some I'm Yours for us, which we sang the words to, because apparently he didn't know all the words. It also got stuck in Andrew's head (Harden cousin) for the duration of the night, which sucked, because by his own admission he disliked Jason Mraz. We played Apples to Apples, which Becca won, because SHE'S AWESOME.
  • The drive to downtown Disney- We DEFINITELY played some Enrique, and sang his songs from the depths of our souls, because who CANT relate to "Do you know?"
  • At downtown Disney-We went and visited a waterfall, which was beautiful, and then we went and chilled by the fireplace, which was lovely, but kind of morbid, while Chris and I were discussing who would lose ligaments, and who would just flat out die, due to the hanging gate thing, above our heads. We explored a little bit, and lost Peter twice. Then we walked the length of the mall, and then when we were about to leave some strange vendor man asked me "What was that? The Swim?" I didn't hear him, but apparently that's what he said.
  • The drive home from downtown Disney-We listened to some Jason & Colbie, and Lady GaGa.
  • Then we said goodbye.

Then Katie and I had one of our ALWAYS encouraging talks on the way home. I loved yesterday. It was a lot of fun. Thank You to: Rebecca H,Katie A, Chris G, and Peter for making it that way.

In loving memory of George Valley Harrison

Friday, March 13, 2009

Love is STRONGER than death.

I forgot to mention what the verse in my tattoo says. Psalm 61:2 "from the end of the earth, I will cry to YOU. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the ROCK which is higher than I."

This year High School Winter Camp was entitled "Love is stronger than death."
It was the most incredible camp experience I have ever had, as a counselor, and it far surpassed any memories I have as a camper. For 3 of the sessions we had Jonathan Bilima, who was an incredible blessing to have (He'd gotten married the weekend prior!!), and his wife Pauline was SUPER sweet. We had awesome times of worship with our worship team (Jake Rowley,William Funderburk,Chris Genneway, Janine Genneway,David Beylik,Jessy Nelson, and special guests- John and Jake Randall-ALL whom are some of my very favorite people), and "Breakout Sessions" where the girls were SO blessed AGAIN by Michelle Randall, Pastor John's wife. We played in the snow, went intertubing (which was kinda worth the climb), Jessica got PUMMELED by Mr. Rowley, met a snowman whom I named Mr.Right, and his pet raccoon who I dont think had a name. The spiritual warfare was SO INTENSE! The Lord reminded us that the battle has already been won! That HE is VICTORIOUS, and that we have NO reason to fear, because He is our protection! God is SOOOO good!! Camp was an amazing time, and I am incredibly blessed, and honored that this is where God has chosen me to be! Here are some pictures of our time.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

One Flight Down

"The cadence rolls in broken. Plays it over and then goes. One flight down, there's a song on low, and it's been playing there all along. Now you know." -Norah Jones

Norah Jones and I would be really good friends.

I got a tattoo on Tuesday. Yep. I did it. It felt like my cat Gizmo was carving it out with his claw, but eventually...I became numb, and couldn't really feel it anymore. I went to our family tattoo guy (My little sister is the only one without, now) Bruce at Newport Tattoo in Newport Beach. I was freaking out, because I was afraid of how much pain I was going to be in. I had a lot of fun watching him prep for it though, and if i had ANY kind of artistic talent, that's where I would spend it. So, here are some pictures (1 from Jessica, and 2 from Allison)

And the finished product-24 hours later

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I want to blog....

But I can't think of anything to say. I'm praying about a lot of things, so if you'd all keep my unspoken prayers in mind. Also please pray for my niece Cailyn, as she took the death of my big brother the hardest, and has been acting out, and she shuts down a lot, or melts down. I want to be a comfort to her, and I'm doing my best. I try and make her laugh, but that will never replace her dad. Please just keep all 3 of my nieces in prayer as even though it's been over a year- they still have broken hearts.